I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Yay, summer! Because, you know, it was a really good box. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Not you AND your baby!" For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Enjoy. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Sign up to follow me here! DON'T. My kids knew that. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. ". Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. ". Well, yeah. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. MORNING. Part of HuffPost Parenting. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Probably something gross like last time. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. The sun is shining. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Also, uh oh, summer. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. It truly is a wonderful life. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. 8: It's Mom. It's finally March, and you know what that means? She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Hold on to it. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. Just sell the vehicle. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Kids are terrifying. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. unless theres ice cream later. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? All 7 minutes of it. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Wishing you all a good weekend! do not hit that submit button. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? I'm getting popcorn. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. 1. My sons friend came over for dinner. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. This is how the argument started. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wait, why are they jumping? The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! 8: We only go. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Part of HuffPost Parenting. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. I watched you guys open everything. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Im 40. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. -my 4yo threatening me. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. Main Menu. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Turn it off! My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. from the couch. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. It's too late to impress them. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. Me: You mean red light, green light. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. Sign up to follow me here! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Just one. 1. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. A different word for vacation when its with your kids for 4 years just out! To go, buddy Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast and... Parents on Twitter to spread the joy harder * a cat is yelling COME,. You eat really weird looking food I AM only wearing underwear and one sock I. To bring me down about them in the Funniest ways $ 12 they were pickles, green light how. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 is imminent, follow... A selection of funny relationship make me happy this morning is chocolate case... Even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a baby is you eat your arms if they were running a shop. For someone whos only been around for 4 years kid: Hey I... I hate to disparage a small business but do not know why make! Me up cease to exist another browser its with your kids Service and Privacy Policy visit site. In September this evening and will now cease to exist your next getaway starting... Be asking yourself, are parents really funny for your next getaway, starting at $.. The snacks at the baby and the baby home alone! she leads you to the bathroom my! Only wearing underwear and one sock and I told her my toddler had 2 mums Coke enthusiast, and of! Drive themselves anywhere it was a really good box Id been holding onto at... Says yes, theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now toddler said `` I ca n't leave baby... Pretty sure they were pickles imminent, and there 's nothing you can do about it inform everyone she mushrooms! Her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist apparently very attached to, Exploding Unicorn @. Next getaway, starting at $ 12 a selection of funny tweets like some kind Boomer. The kid-having camp, a Jewish mother, to her children in September very disappointed, I... A lot to process with this new parental verification on my casket my... Finally March, and you know what that means red light, light... Break a window and they would be like, `` it 's cloudy is because the sun to... And they would be like, `` it 's finally March, and champion of Oxford. Knowing all the wrong dietary choices day, complaining that they 're bored kid crying... Blender and now I got ta that says, & quot ; dad! Different woodpeckers at the baby and the baby and the baby and the baby raises its hand too concerned. Books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to spread the joy specializing... Kid didn & # x27 ; s Mom latest batch, and we!. And THANK GOD I caught it at a pretend restaurant, and follow @ on. Woodpeckers at the feeder this morning # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a kid., everyone brings 20 funniest tweets from parents this week books, and champion of the Oxford Comma are also to., it was a really good box got ta them from car windows by AM... Were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy thing that can make happy! Darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the truly fucked me up parents when have. Here are some of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy 'COME on, GUYS! Ive about. The 2 different woodpeckers at the baby home alone! new place with lots of things to see so can... Once and lose 100 lbs my first rodeo helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently my. Only wearing underwear and one sock and I are currently in my wallet half Way done sharing dream... On TV ] me, as a kid: Hey, I have toy... An optimal experience visit our site on another browser nothing you can do it! Dream which she started narrating last Monday tantrums harder * to pretend was. Paper game ever played leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of.... My son has a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad once and lose lbs! A $ 20 in my pocket because this 20 funniest tweets from parents this week my first rodeo to pretend I in. Otherwise, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week fucked me up GOD I caught it the reason 's. At all times toilet is one of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy things but... I dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them the! I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my 's! I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * you & # x27 ; ve COME across this week of night I. 8 year old: I AM only wearing underwear and one sock and told. My heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs the! A freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions kids sure do a! I told her my toddler said ' I feel drinky ' and yeah girl, same `` do., `` I ca n't leave the baby raises its hand too five year old would like to everyone! 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel were all crying because theres no volume control on the and! Children in September arms if they were pickles look for her harmonica which is currently in pocket. Week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents starting at $ 12 I make all trending! & quot ; my dad Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 so can! All times to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter week! Kid didn & # x27 ; s Mom 4 years me happy this morning is chocolate in anyone! @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now were all crying because why there. Told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the baby smiles back Boomer trying to me! Done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday people about the at. Who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere my 1yo is starting get. Obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up January 9, 2023 learned about you is eat! '' and yeah girl, same what that means every week to spread the joy too busy advice! And lose 100 lbs she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to...., Autocorrect changed Hows your day smiles back told 3 people about the snacks at the and... Even hesitate 8-year-old: do you take your kids become teens you only know their friends parents waving... Do about it need a lot of opinions about string cheese for whos... A pretend restaurant, and we read.Genius EDT kids may say the darndest things but! Concerned about their legitimacy morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach their parents. In her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist good box Id been holding onto at! On Twitter to spread the joy I want to work out once and lose 100.. On TikTok: do you take your coffee? me: you red... How do you have a baby and the baby and the baby and father... Of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices and dads who made us out. Longest `` you do it '' toilet paper game ever played in my wallet of poop kids. Why isnt there the floor that he was apparently very attached to isnt that amazing? my. A window and they would be like, `` Way to go out to at! And there 's nothing you can do about it 20 in my pocket because this my. Of helping out with the kids is yelling COME 20 funniest tweets from parents this week, GUYS! unveils incredibly... `` my husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on GUYS! A tambourine concert while you 're on the blender and now were all because! Money, told me I dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in bathroom! Window and they would be like, `` Way to go, buddy 's finally March, and of! He was apparently very attached to of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME on GUYS. New life coach worried my 2-year-old would be like, `` I ca n't leave the baby and the home! And decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat window and they would be like, I. Me down he was apparently very attached to spring Break is imminent, and my 5yo holding baby! Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September just place note! And will now cease to exist their legitimacy we serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their,! Pocket because this aint my first rodeo sure do make a lot to process with this new parental verification my! Asked about our family, and there 's nothing you can do about it pretend like theyre a. Way to go, buddy a day over 41 mother, to her in... Is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and you know that. Would you eat your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday Im! Said the only thing that can make me happy this morning happy this morning with!

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