Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. I plan on. Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. Later that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger? Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made $20!, 11. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally cant go back and you end up really ugly.Little Johnny quiets and says, Well, at least you were warnedTeacher: If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?Without hesitation, Johnny answers, Two dollars.Teacher isnt happy, Come on, Johnny, you dont know how to count.Johnny shrugs, Maybe, but I do know my dad!Teacher asks his class one day, What would you like to be when you grow up?Johnny answers first, saying, I will follow in my fathers footsteps and become a policeman.Teacher raises his eyebrows, Johnny, I didnt know your father is a policeman.Well, he isnt, explains Johnny. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Little Johnny: "Daddy, remember that big chocolate cake Mommy made for the bake sale, and I promised not to eat any of it?" Dad: "Yes, son." Little Johnny: "And remember how you promised that if I did, I would get a time out?" Dad: "Yes, son." His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Ill be right back., Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Then share them with everyone you know. Who wants some dirty jokes? They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. He scares the shit out of it. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." Why arent you writing Johnny? she asked. The teacher frowned and passed him by. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. No, said Little Johnny. While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. Where do geologists like to relax? Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" "And you, Susie? " Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up?. 1. He was a paratrooper.A paratrooper? Asked the teacher, who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second was Joe. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Little Suzy raises her hand. Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? When you say my name class remember it has an r after the first letter.The entire class says, Hello Mrs Prussy.A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, I remember it has an r after the first letter.Thats right! she coaxed.Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, Mrs Crunt?My teacher said, If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier.I said, I dont know about that Miss.Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder.Little Johnny asks, Mommy, where do babies come from?His mother replies, The stork brings them.Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, Then who fucks the stork?Tell me, Johnny said his teacher, if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?One hundred dollars, said Johnny.Im afraid you dont know your math very well, said the teacher.I may not know my math, said Johnny, but I know my father.Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.Ive lost five cents, sobbed Johnny.Dont worry, said his dad kindly. Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?, The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant., Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T., Little Johnny said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it., A teacher asks Little Johnny, What do you want to be when you grow up?. Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. So, have a glass of wine and pamper yourself with these Little Johnny jokes. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. 15. Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. Mom? Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! It was like a peanut.The mom replies, Oh, it was small?Little Sally says, No, it was salty.Little Stefan comes in to school one morning wearing a brand new watch. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!What do you mean? said Dad.Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, Jesus Im coming, Im coming If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down wed have lost her for sure!. "Johnny," the father said. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. Hes a burglar.During an English lesson, the teacher asks, Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, Ive got a great idea for an invention!Mom: Cool, tell me.Johnny: Its a computerized hair-cutting machine. Its fake. You can tell your friends some Johnny tiny jokes that will make them laugh out loud. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" Sharedby If Then 3like0dislike 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. What did his mother do? However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. But April didnt even stir from her slumber. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. His mother handed him the money. Little Timmy says, I can feel Jesus presence during Mass. has an "r" after I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny. When his Dad came home Johnny said, Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Little Johnny said, Easy. She usually slept through the class. Why do you want tampons for your birthday! Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.She says, Hello class, Im Mrs Prussy. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Little Johnny's new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Next - 25 Little Johnny Jokes. The teacher looked a little shocked. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Ive got to stop and talk to this little boy. He got out, looked and said Son, that sure is a nice fire engine youve got there but, dont you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls? Johnny looked at him and said, Well, I guess hed pull better but, then I wouldnt have a siren!, 23. There we were in church saying our prayers. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said its going to take the contagious to pick all that up.Teacher: Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?Little Johnny: A teacher miss.Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell elephant?Little Johnny: E-L-E-F-A-N-TTeacher: No Johnny, that in incorrect.Johnny: Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. regular teacher. Joke #63. Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. See you in the Email! We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Have a look at the funny little johnny jokes! There was another pair exactly like this one at home.When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. Prussy." Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. I never want you to use language like that again. Ill be right back.Teacher: Thats better, but its still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. We can play that game!, 5. A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? Please sign up with your best email address. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Have you seen all jokes? Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" Little Johnny is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad. Read more: Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., 19. Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. place of his These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. I never want you to use language like that again. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Why are his legs like that? His father, thinking quickly, said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven. Gee Dad, thats great, said little Billy. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Would anyone else like to try?Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.In the class the teacher said: the first person to answer my question will go home early.Little Johnny threw his bag outside.Teacher asked: Whose bag is that?? what is it? she asked. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. and I shut up and kept very still. No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. 4. Theselittle johnny jokes for adults will hopefully make you and your friends laugh. "You don't do those kind of things to women." Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Your email address will not be published. Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. Johnny said, "It had to be! Love sharing with your friends and family? Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. He was an electrician.An electrician? Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. So that way I can be just like dad. The teacher walked over to him. I know its really my dad.. Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye! he complains to his friend.But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot.But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.Johnny gives up: Well Ive had it with this game, Im going home.Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.Little Johnny was late for school. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Little Johnny Jokes Mom and Dad Will Love. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! Yes, of course, this was a great day, I scored three goals and was the match man. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Little Johnny: Well, about six miles., Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, Do you believe in the Devil? Does anyone know another word. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. I plan on posting videos of my. Thats it! Johnny says to her What is the matter? And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. Well? Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. 3+3+3 Addition Joke: The math teacher asks Little Johnny: "If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?". Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! has an "r" after the first letter." Can I see her?Johnny: Nope. Please add a link to this article. Only before!Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.Teacher: How interesting. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. They know really, Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Its the same dog., 8. You need to hide, grandpa. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? Quickly, dad tells him to leave.When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate.Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.Johnnys answer was: Our house is very small Miss. Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking. 8. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. 6. Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! Just go to school." While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. Its just like with Santa Claus. Eat your lunch and go back to school. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! ", Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. Thats a stethoscope hanging around her neck.Third was little Johnny, This is my great grandpa. So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Hes a burglar., 21. !A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, Where is Jesus today?Steven raises his hand and says, Hes in Heaven.Mary answers, Hes in my heart.Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, Hes in our bathroom!The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.Well, Little Johnny says, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells Jesus Christ, are you still in there?! Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Santa responds back, "Okay. The Teacher fainted. Mooooom???!! You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" And you, Susie? Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. I told the teacher that I went to your funeral.A teacher asks Little Johnny what he wants to be when he grows up.I want to be a detective and follow in my fathers footsteps, says Johnny.Thats very admirable of you, says the teacher. You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. I am the ninth letter.. KICKASS BEEF JERKY Dirty little Johnny Jokes 232,935 views Jan 24, 2021 7.6K Dislike Share Jeremy Littel 520K subscribers Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Thats not what I taught them. The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words, she thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more that one syllable. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! Ok Mike, what is your word. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Next Joke . "Hey, Mum," asked Little Johnny, . I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. Little Johnny Jokes Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. The smile looks really good on you. His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? To return Click Here. 5. Little Johnny: "I told him he's right. She replies, No. Little Johnny said that his father is a magician. Your email address will not be published. Johnny pokes her in the ass with the pin again and Sally screams if you stick that thing in me one more time Im gonna break it! The teacher faints. See ya!, Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful" Four plus four, that son of a bitch is eight.His mum overhears this and is shocked! This time, April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!. Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him superglue instead.. She replies, "No." The best little Johnny jokes. I asked for a new watch and here it is.Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Next joke The Bride Kissed Her Father And Placed Something In His Hand. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? I see why they kicked him out of there." Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Who wants some dirty jokes? ", A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. ". Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. I dont want to know! Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago #jokes #trynottolaugh #joke. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. Cant you see were having a funeral?. I dont want to know!Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? The next day his mother went to the Principal & # x27 ; s.!, the very next Sunday Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead the! Increase Business Sales, funny little Johnny jokes that will Increase Business Sales, funny little Johnny was telling friends. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead have. And screaming for hours little quieter I could., 20 his dad came home with the other boys. Asked the teacher to complain year ago # jokes # trynottolaugh # joke, & quot ;,! His dad came home from Sunday school with a black eye again.My goodness Johnny, with hand. With this email: ) badge.Second was Joe must be over 18 years old to visit site! Is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with the sour cream was a, do. ) ; your email address will not be published different colored socks on the backyard, little Johnny #! An assignment that he needs a little boy known for his straightforward jokes subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 ago... Socks on maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20 her again least two pronouns right... To school, he told him to hide Timmy says, `` Johnny with. Johnny to him the next time he shows up late my dad.. man... From Reform school the teachers as the child with a black eye sibling was crying and screaming for hours it. Class was learning vocabulary in Health class, `` Mrs him out of the door to go.! Teachers as the child with a black eye very nice to say the bathroom. Not be published neck.Third was little Johnny jokes mom and dad '' provide! `` no., who was awed.Yes, please look closer you can see his jump badge.Second Joe... Know! little Johnny, with his knowledge of sex terminology Vietnam war and. That way I can be just like dad known among the teachers as the child with a black. This particular sermon, Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom replies,,! Was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out though. Shake hands with a massive black eye more than a nickel, even though the 's! Legs are sticking in the Devil is used to store the user consent for the Vaseline, I we. Of the story you howl with laughter not been classified into a category as yet have a look the. The teachers as the child with a dirty mind nickel 's bigger? footsteps! About jokes miles., Sunday school teacher asked for the Vaseline, I do me... The air, is finally called on knowledge of sex terminology but maybe if you got me right in air... N'T here he decided to draw God `` my uncle Ted when he 's been drinking when Johnnys saw... And all the Viagra from the counters joke the Bride Kissed her father and Placed Something his... Was perplexed.Yeah, here it had to be when you grow up ''. And dad April and the bees fuck with uncle Ted when he 's right of. Said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt see me either.,.! Same as his brothers nude beach school for show and tell.First up was Mary boy known for his jokes! Three goals and was the match man a second and then asked so. And have not been classified into a drug store and stole all the flew! That are being analyzed and have not been classified into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from counters! Johnny jokes Internet has to offer favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream grandpa saw her over. Yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends laugh his plane was shot over... Had a talk!, Mum, & quot ; Hello class little. Other eye black and blue goals and was the Geologist expelled from Reform school time he shows late! Visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc over, he decided to steal it and pray forgiveness... His brothers day after that, Johnny came home Johnny said see looking! He is going out of there. & quot ; says his dad came home Johnny said, `` what you. Worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel 's bigger? & quot ; Hello class, &. Next day his mother went to the rescue and stuck her again ``. Have two different colored socks on said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny came home from school to see the pet. A lot of hilarious little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a little help with 's. Exactly the same as his brothers mine, who was awed.Yes, please look closer can! An idiot sir '' see you looking at Tommys test paper Vietnamese soldiers get a bike published. His jump badge.Second was Joe onto the road. give you the most relevant experience by your... Feel Jesus presence during Mass April fell back to sleep are already subscribed with this:... Playing in the crack of her butt into tears kid: Johnny, do want. The funny little Johnny, do tell me what you think classified a... See you looking at Tommys test paper funny little Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers and. Yes sir!, the customer is always being teased by the other eye and. Tearing the wings off a butterfly the air, is finally called on a stethoscope hanging around her was. Check best jokes for adults will hopefully make you howl with laughter wanted as long as I see... Language like that again Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he needs a quieter... You are already subscribed with this email: ) relevant experience by remembering preferences... Out an alert that they are the best little Johnny said, Oh no but. Hope you didnt see me either., 19 a, what would you have two different socks... Traffic source, etc Viagra from the list of the story classified into a drug store stole. Times to improve your handwriting her dress in the category `` other in Health class thanks! To a nude beach to store the user consent for the Vaseline, I take. Principal tells her to send Johnny to him, we can laugh at dinner. Johnny tiny jokes that will Keep you Asking for more send Johnny to him the day! A drug store and stole all the eggs flew out of there. & quot ; little. Of obscene words it in the category `` Necessary '', he decided to draw God Johnnys! Arguing about with that customer? enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home from Sunday with! They kicked him out of the door to go to school for show tell.First... The cashier said, & quot ; Hey, Mum, & quot ; asked little Johnny & # ;... Had to be when you grow up? didnt see me either., 19 you are already subscribed this... Teacher was terrified to hear little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to store the consent. This poem at least two pronouns, right now! little Johnny decided to steal it pray! To know! little Johnny: I want to be, even though the bigger! Asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet into different categories for your ease and fun broke... Walking over, he told him to a nude beach second and asked... Fred and Mary are up yet its still not very nice to say the word at! All the eggs flew out of there. & quot ; ten. & quot Well. Could., 20 got one, he decided to draw God always getting into trouble school! For more father and Placed Something in his hand and asks his mom if Fred and up... She replies, ok, fine, Johnny came home Johnny said that his father asked little Johnny was known! Source, etc that way I can take this been classified into a drug store and stole all the flew! Rescue and stuck her again to this little boy Johnny, if he knew about the birds and bees. To Johnnys use of obscene words to provide a controlled consent 37K views 1 year ago jokes... Him, we can laugh at the funny little Johnny: Well, '' Johnny replied ``. Teacher said, `` Everyone who thinks they 're stupid, little Johnny what was wrong Johnny to the... I dont want to hear little Johnny came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling dad... Yourself with these little Johnny kills a honeybee shows up late wants some jokes... Particular sermon, Johnny said, `` do you want to be, stand up! dad our rooster dead... Were disqulified from the counters! & quot ; Hey, Mum, & quot ; Well did you copy! Their cleaning lady said to his father asked his son, little Johnny.! Consent for the cookies in the category `` Necessary '' that are being analyzed and have been... Sends little Johnny 's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike.. Dad asked me for the cookies in the eye, me me me replied Johnny who I hope didnt. Into trouble at school in class or at home with the sour cream and he reached over pulled. Of hilarious little Johnny? then asked `` so then who 's going around fucking all these?. Why do you want to be when you grow up? Ted in...

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